How Are You Wired? What’s Your Personal Communication Style?
Our brains are hard-wired in unique ways. Our personal styles are as individual as we are. Knowing your personal communication style can significantly improve how well you learn, interact with people and manage. Are you “electric” enough, or could you be even better? Find out with this quick quiz.
We Are All Odd
It doesn’t matter how well you think you fit in, are liked and respected, and how much people enjoy having you around – each of us is one-of-a kind, or odd. No matter how hard you try, the majority of the people around you often are working like crazy to understand you and “cut to the chase” of what you mean. Don’t feel bad, because you’re doing the same thing with them!
Why? Because from birth, each of us is programmed to communicate best in our own individual style. No two people do it exactly the same way. That’s why you are always amazed when you send what you think is a very clear message … and the people at the other end don’t connect or respond.
A top executive said actually to me: “Don’t listen to what I say, listen to what I mean.”
Just Wired That Way
Each of us process incoming information in different ways: Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic. Did you know that you are hardwired to prefer either seeing, hearing or doing? So let’s have some fun. Here is a quick quiz to uncover your personal communication style. Go through the questions and add 1 point for each statement that describes you. Then go back and add up your score for each section.
The section with the most points is your major style. It’s okay to have strengths in more than one area.
Take The Personal Communication Style Quiz
VISUAL – seeing and reading
1. I make long to-do lists because I’ll remember I need to do it if I write it down.
2. I need pictures, diagrams and colors to help me understand things.
3. I take tons of notes, and I usually doodle on them, too.
4. I’d rather search for information on my iPad than read it in a book.
5. I love YouTube. It’s one of my main sources of information and entertainment.
6. I don’t like conference calls. I need to look someone when they’re speaking.
7. I like to watch people who show me how to do something.
8. I’m rotten at telling stories and jokes. I can’t remember them and get lost.
Your Total = __________
AUDITORY – listening and speaking
1. I like discussions and talking about a problem to find the solution.
2. In school, I only needed to attend class lectures to do well on the tests.
3. I love music, talk radio and books on tape.
4. My phone is my favorite communication tool.
5. If I have to remember something, I repeat it over and over to myself.
6. I’d rather show you what I mean than tell you. I’ll even draw you a picture.
7. I’m a little in love with my own voice, so I talk a lot and even yell.
8. I like to complete one task before I start a new one.
Your Total = __________
KINESTHETIC – touching and doing
1. I’m restless, so I’m always walking and moving around.
2. I can work anywhere. I don’t need quiet or solitude. Starbucks is great.
3. I get impatient with planning. I want to get things started immediately.
4. I love to exercise. I do it in the morning and again at the end of the day. I’ve even been known to sneak out for a little exercise at lunch.
5. I seldom read the instructions. I like to get my hands on things and figure them out.
6. The best part about smartphones and tablets is you get to tap the screen.
7. I like to dance, move and get into the music.
8. I like shaking hands and hugging. I’m a big hugger.
Your Total = __________
What’s Your Score?
Your score in each style gives you a picture of how you gather and process information. Don’t be surprised if you’re a mixture of styles. You may have a very dominant style or you may be balanced. Send this quiz to your friends and co-wrokers. I’ll bet they’ll be surprised. There is no “good” or “bad” result. It’s just who you are. People won’t whisper behind your back, “There goes that auditory/ kinesthetic person. Quick – don’t look.”
The point is to know your strengths and preferred styles and use them to better learn and communicate.
It’s Your Style
Understanding your personal communication style impacts how we learn and how we communicate and relate to the other people in our lives. It was a big revelation for me because it helped me understand the challenges I was having with my family and clients.
I never understood why one of my sons just got up and walked away during one of my humorous and touching “Daddy Speeches.” He’s extremely visual. If he sees it on video, it’s locked in his head forever. But spoken words? Not so much. Remember how the adults were portrayed only as “wah-wah-wah” noises on the Charlie Brown “Peanuts” TV specials? That’s how we sound to Visual people. Now, I draw little diagrams as we talk. He can “see” what I’m saying. And he pays attention!
I have a client who can’t sit still. I keep threatening to tie a bell on her because she wanders off and the team has to call around the building trying to track her down. Well, she is very Kinesthetic. It’s difficult for her to be in a conference room and not have something to do. So, I changed the way we have meetings: Now I cut them into two parts. We talk about the things that need to be done first. Then we go back and do the reviews and updates. The executive is attentive and relaxed because she knows she can leave any time after Part One.
How Are You Wired?
Our styles even carry over into how we speak. You can hear people’s styles in their choice of words.
“I see what you’re saying.” – Visual
“I hear you.” – Auditory
“I understand how you feel.” – Kinesthetic
Being more mindful of how you and others are wired can help you to know yourself better, communicate with much more meaning and improve your relationships on the job. Take a moment to focus your message in the other person’s style and you’ll know the best way to learn, talk, communicate – and manage your next big project.
Make It Work For You
In the next article in this three-part series, we’ll talk about how understanding personal communication styles can actually take you to the next level so you develop better content, capture the attention of employees and market to customers more successfully. Plus, you can take what you’ve learned about yourself in our quiz to do some great fine-tuning to your home life.
CLICK HERE FOR PART TWO
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